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self-esteem

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Worthy: How Do You Measure Your Self Worth?

how do you measure your self worth

“How do you measure your self worth?”

Take a minute and answer this question to yourself. Really, stop reading and answer it. If someone put you in a room and told you to write down how you measure YOUR self-worth, what would you put down on that piece of paper? Is it based off your looks, your intellect, your accomplishments, the opinions of others, the amount of twitter and Facebook followers you have? How do you measure your self worth? The minute you find out the answer, hold on to it and it’s discuss it.

There is the parable about a old man who gave his son a precious ring. He told his son to take it to the market and take no less than one gold coin for the ring. The young man went to every market and every vendor and they all laughed him away and told him he was crazy and that the ring was only worth 5 silver coins. He went home disappointed and told his father he had failed. His father then told him to go to a an expert jeweler and find out the value of the ring but NOT to sell it for any reason. 

How do you measure your self worth?

The young man went to the jeweler and gave him the ring. The jeweler looked it over and offered the young man 50 gold coins. The young man was so surprised he could only stare at the jeweler. The jeweler then offered 70 gold coins and promised even more if the young man would agree and sell it right away. The son picked up his ring and went home to the father surprised and confused by jeweler’s offers. He told his father the news and his father laughed and said, “Son you can’t expect the fools at the markets and in the streets to ever know the worth of something as priceless as this jewel. Only an expert will ever know it’s true value.” Now, How do you measure your self worth? Is it the street value or the value of an expert evaluator?

This story is exactly what is happening in the world we live in. We look everywhere else for self-worth except at the two experts: God who created you, and yourself. We look at “role models” like Kim Kardashian or Nikki Minaj and when our body, face, hair or life doesn’t line up, we lose a little bit of self-esteem. When we see others doing better than us in life, on their jobs, in their families, we lose a little bit of self-esteem. Without even knowing, we are unconsciously measuring ourselves against a standard that was never meant for us. So, Let me ask again, how do you measure your self worth?

How do you measure your self worth?

If the measuring rod for YOUR self worth isn’t God and yourself, then throw the whole ruler away. Start all over. You will never measure up to the standards of any one else point-blank-period. You were made uniquely, differently and beautifully. Individual from your eyes all the way to your fingertips; there is no one else like you! Keep that in mind every time comparison tries to creep in. Pick up your Bible and read how you were wonderfully and beautifully made (Ps. 139) and how God knew you and had a plan for you before you were even born (Jeremiah 1:5). Put these scriptures and self-affirming words all over your mirror, house and doors and feed your spirit with them every day. Self worth is an inside job. It begins by building ourself up from the inside out. The minute you realize your self worth and value, you refuse to give others discounts and to discount yourself from all that is good in this world. 

You won’t be perfect if you’re skinnier, smarter, prettier, taller, etc. because you are ALREADY perfect! So, how do you measure your self worth? The way to measure your self-worth is by the Word of God and You. You must change how you see yourself, how you love yourself and how you treat yourself. Be your own best friend, be your own cheerleader and lift yourself up. In life, there are so many people and things that pull us down, don’t be one of those people and things…LOVE YOU AND OTHERS WILL LOVE YOU!

how do you measure your self worth?

I hope this helped someone out there. I write this because during the holidays, suicide and depression rates are at their highest. We have to learn to love ourselves, to lift ourselves up and remind ourselves of the intrinsic value that we have as human beings. We have to allow God to do the rest. When we are hopeless and feel worthless, ask God to reveal your value to you and He will. Share this post with someone who needs it and remember, I love you and hope and pray the best for you.

You can always reach out to me at houseofodara@gmail.com. Read the latest fashion blog post HERE!

I Love You.Mean It

Afordablefits

Embracing Jealousy

“I hate you, I hate you, I don’t know you and I hate you!”

Today, I’m going to tell you a story about how embracing jealousy changed my life! LOL…Don’t close the page, give me a chance to explain this to you. I don’t know how many of you ever watched “The Chappelle Show” back in early 2000’s. I was obsessed with it, even though it was a bit grown-up for me at that time. The Chappelle show was truth wrapped in a comedic shell and this formula made it very successful.

embracing jealousy: how to make it work for your goodMy favorite episode was the Player Hater’s Ball. I literally died laughing at that episode but in the middle of all that laughter, I learned a lot about embracing jealousy and turning it into motivation and NOT anger. The episode was all about a group of men that were so filled with hate they got awards for hating on someone’s success, looks and personality. I find in today’s society, people think that being a hater and being jealous and petty is very chic and cool. FYI it’s not! Jealousy can be a bad thing but when you embrace it you can actually turn it into motivation. 

So, no this post is not 101 ways to be a better hater…sorry!

Webster defines jealousy as a feeling of resentment because of someone else’s success, advantages, or because of a personal rivalry. LISTEN LINDA, WE ALL GET JEALOUS! Anyone that says they’ve never been jealous of someone else is lying. It’s okay to feel jealousy, it’s what you decide to do with it that makes the difference.

Here are 5 ways I learned to embrace jealousy and make it work for my good. 

  1. Compliment Your Rival: When it’s 10PM and you’re scrolling on social media and you see your friend is engaged, having a baby or got a promotion, don’t scroll by and roll your eyes, compliment them. Even if you don’t feel it, do it. Blessings come when we learn to rejoice with other people!
  2. Smell Yourself: My mum used to say if you travel and everywhere you go stinks, check your self because it might be you smelling. When jealousy creeps up, it’s because in some way or another we feel inadequate. We may be having a low self-esteem day and going online can sometimes make things worse. When insecurity creeps in, ask yourself “why do I feel this way and what can I do to build myself back up” Listen, when your self-esteem is low, log offline and get with a group of people that can uplift, pray and compliment you. 
  3. Let it Push You: There is nothing like jealousy to motivate you to do better. I remember seeing my friend that had a baby a month after me, and she was back in a size 6. I was sooooo mad at her and at myself and at my body but instead of taking it out on her and letting jealousy eat me up, I decided to embrace jealousy and let it push me to exercise. Embracing jealousy can turn “hateration” into greatness. 
  4. Talk It Out: Sometimes you just gotta talk it out with a friend. When you’re feeling inadequate and jealous of just about everyone and everything they have and you don’t have, get advice from your pastor, get prayer from a friend or grab a glass of wine and chat it out with girlfriends. Nothing soothes like being able to work things out with people you trust
  5. Love is Greater: Love conquers all things. So, if hate is creeping up on you, say no and choose love. Dr. Seidman wrote a great article on jealousy in a relationship setting entitled, ‘What’s really behind Jealousy and what to do about it” and if you and your spouse are dealing with this issue, read the article HERE

embracing jealousy: how to make it work for you

Remember, embracing jealousy is not always a bad thing when you learn to make it work for your good. Next time the green-eyed monster creeps up on you, remember these 5 steps and allow love to win.

Don’t forget about my last Fun-Facts post on “How to cuff the right way during cuffing season.” Click HERE to read all about it.

I would love to style or collaborate with your business. Email me at houseofodarablog@gmail.com for information and any styling questions you may have.

Love you.Mean It

Afordablefits

Cool.Mum

“Mum jeans are so last season…I’m a cool mum!”

Okay, this jumpsuit is not for the faint of heart. LOL! Being a new mum is hard, beautiful, rewarding and did I mention HARD. I think the hardest part for me was getting my sexy back. Mommies, you have to remember how you snatched your hubby up…you can’t go from hottie to hot-mess (sigh). Men are visual…like very visual so you gotta maintain that flyness. You have to learn how to dress for that extra body weight and accentuate the good. I am queen of hiding the bad (FY…control top panties and a GOOD bra).

When I found this jumpsuit on Amazon and read the reviews, I knew it would be perfect for a date night with my husband. After having Sammy, I still have 15lbs to lose, so I was looking for something that was not tight on my legs or stomach, made me look taller but also had sex appeal. This jumpsuit was it. I kept the styling very simple and let the colors and stripes speak for me. FYI This jumpsuit is only $24.99 with Amazon Prime.

CLICK PICTURES FOR PRODUCT LINKS



Remember, try and dress for the body you have. If you are short, find dresses and pants that lengthen you. Horizontal stripes are slimming and elongate your frame. If you are tall and thin, you literally are my dream body. You can wear horizontal and vertical stripes. The trick is finding pants that match your height but there is nothing a little tailoring can’t help. Find a tailor that can let the seams out of the pants and sleeves to add more inches. If you are plus, don’t put on tents and large items but find clothes that accentuate your waist, bust or gorgeous legs (pick one body part to accentuate at a time). A peplum shirt is the go-to for curvier girls and a belt can fix almost anything. So, find things that compliment you and your shape and rock it with boldness!

So, what has been your biggest style challenge since having a baby or becoming pregnant? Have you found it hard to get your groove back when it comes to styling your new body? Let us know how you’ve been dealing with your body and styling issues and if you have any questions, please comment below and I will answer them.

Be sure to register for the blog and follow me on Bloglovin for updates and on Instagram and Snapchat (emma ford). All emails and inquiries can be sent to houseofodarablog@gmail.com

 

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Toxic

Don’t You Know That It’s Toxic

So, how many of you remember that song Toxic by Britney Spears (yes, i’m old…lol). In it she sings about a boy that she knows is bad for her, but she is so addicted to him that she can’t let him go. I used to be obsessed with this song when I was younger. I sang it all the time because the beat was so catchy and the song was just fun. But, it’s actually a very sad song. Britney sings that the guy she’s in love with is dangerous but she loves it! Wait, what?! But, if you think about it, haven’t we all had a toxic relationship at least once in our life? #raiseshand

I used to be in a relationship like this. I dated a guy who was very mentally and verbally abusive. I was never good enough for him. I thought if I was slimmer, if I just wore more makeup, if I didn’t talk back and agreed to everything he said, he would be nicer to me. I dumbed down my voice and personality to try and be the person he wanted. But, what I didn’t realize was that he didn’t have the capacity to love me the way I needed to be loved. He had his own issues and problems. He was miserable, so all he had to give was misery. Now, if I decided to stay in that relationship, hoping and praying he would change, I would have no one to blame for my decision. So, I did the smart thing, I RAN! I left that relationship and never looked back. Believe me, it wasn’t easy to let go of someone I thought I loved so much, but I saw my future and I wanted better for it. I prayed and asked God for strength not to go back and not to give in. I occupied myself with other things, and a couple of months later I realized I hadn’t thought about him or about that situation in weeks.

Your situation might be different from mine. You might have been or are currently in a toxic friendship. You know, that friend that always puts you down, is secretly jealous of you and never has anything good to say about you. Or you might currently be in a toxic relationship where you are being abused physically or emotionally. Or your issue might be a boyfriend or girlfriend that only uses you for your money, your body or your attention. We’ve all invited these toxic people into our lives and allowed them to overstay their welcome. Sometimes we are so afraid of being alone, of letting go, of the unknown that we just live in the mess hoping for change. And sometimes we just stay hoping for the best. What we have to realize is that we have to be the change we want to see. If someone or something in your life is unhealthy, “do da Heisman on em” and keep it moving. Remember that you are worth more!

As we enter 2016, let’s make a decision together to let go of any relationships that are toxic. Whether platonic or romantic, if it doesn’t benefit us, our dreams and our goals, we will let it go. Let’s also decide to grab ahold of the things that matter to us, and be passionate about the good and healthy things in our lives. How many of you all will do this with me?

I want to know what toxic relationships and situations you have already let go of and which ones you plan on letting go of in 2016.  Share this post with someone that needs it and comment below and let us  your thoughts. Plus, I know I have some wise followers, so comment and let us know ways you cut toxic things out of our life. I can’t wait to read your responses.

 

*If you are in a physically toxic relationship, please find a pastor or counsellor to talk to. This is a serious situation and you have to speak to someone about it to get help and assistance in getting out. You are worth more than someone who cannot respect you enough to protect you from themselves* (334.613.3363)

Be sure to follow me on Bloglovin for updates and follow me on Instagram, Snapchat (tinkrb11e) and subscribe to my youtube channel. All emails and inquiries can be sent to funmis1@gmail.com.

XoXo Emma

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