Browsing Tag

post partum

Afordablefits

Embracing Jealousy

“I hate you, I hate you, I don’t know you and I hate you!”

Today, I’m going to tell you a story about how embracing jealousy changed my life! LOL…Don’t close the page, give me a chance to explain this to you. I don’t know how many of you ever watched “The Chappelle Show” back in early 2000’s. I was obsessed with it, even though it was a bit grown-up for me at that time. The Chappelle show was truth wrapped in a comedic shell and this formula made it very successful.

embracing jealousy: how to make it work for your goodMy favorite episode was the Player Hater’s Ball. I literally died laughing at that episode but in the middle of all that laughter, I learned a lot about embracing jealousy and turning it into motivation and NOT anger. The episode was all about a group of men that were so filled with hate they got awards for hating on someone’s success, looks and personality. I find in today’s society, people think that being a hater and being jealous and petty is very chic and cool. FYI it’s not! Jealousy can be a bad thing but when you embrace it you can actually turn it into motivation. 

So, no this post is not 101 ways to be a better hater…sorry!

Webster defines jealousy as a feeling of resentment because of someone else’s success, advantages, or because of a personal rivalry. LISTEN LINDA, WE ALL GET JEALOUS! Anyone that says they’ve never been jealous of someone else is lying. It’s okay to feel jealousy, it’s what you decide to do with it that makes the difference.

Here are 5 ways I learned to embrace jealousy and make it work for my good. 

  1. Compliment Your Rival: When it’s 10PM and you’re scrolling on social media and you see your friend is engaged, having a baby or got a promotion, don’t scroll by and roll your eyes, compliment them. Even if you don’t feel it, do it. Blessings come when we learn to rejoice with other people!
  2. Smell Yourself: My mum used to say if you travel and everywhere you go stinks, check your self because it might be you smelling. When jealousy creeps up, it’s because in some way or another we feel inadequate. We may be having a low self-esteem day and going online can sometimes make things worse. When insecurity creeps in, ask yourself “why do I feel this way and what can I do to build myself back up” Listen, when your self-esteem is low, log offline and get with a group of people that can uplift, pray and compliment you. 
  3. Let it Push You: There is nothing like jealousy to motivate you to do better. I remember seeing my friend that had a baby a month after me, and she was back in a size 6. I was sooooo mad at her and at myself and at my body but instead of taking it out on her and letting jealousy eat me up, I decided to embrace jealousy and let it push me to exercise. Embracing jealousy can turn “hateration” into greatness. 
  4. Talk It Out: Sometimes you just gotta talk it out with a friend. When you’re feeling inadequate and jealous of just about everyone and everything they have and you don’t have, get advice from your pastor, get prayer from a friend or grab a glass of wine and chat it out with girlfriends. Nothing soothes like being able to work things out with people you trust
  5. Love is Greater: Love conquers all things. So, if hate is creeping up on you, say no and choose love. Dr. Seidman wrote a great article on jealousy in a relationship setting entitled, ‘What’s really behind Jealousy and what to do about it” and if you and your spouse are dealing with this issue, read the article HERE

embracing jealousy: how to make it work for you

Remember, embracing jealousy is not always a bad thing when you learn to make it work for your good. Next time the green-eyed monster creeps up on you, remember these 5 steps and allow love to win.

Don’t forget about my last Fun-Facts post on “How to cuff the right way during cuffing season.” Click HERE to read all about it.

I would love to style or collaborate with your business. Email me at houseofodarablog@gmail.com for information and any styling questions you may have.

Love you.Mean It

Afordablefits

Cool.Mum

“Mum jeans are so last season…I’m a cool mum!”

Okay, this jumpsuit is not for the faint of heart. LOL! Being a new mum is hard, beautiful, rewarding and did I mention HARD. I think the hardest part for me was getting my sexy back. Mommies, you have to remember how you snatched your hubby up…you can’t go from hottie to hot-mess (sigh). Men are visual…like very visual so you gotta maintain that flyness. You have to learn how to dress for that extra body weight and accentuate the good. I am queen of hiding the bad (FY…control top panties and a GOOD bra).

When I found this jumpsuit on Amazon and read the reviews, I knew it would be perfect for a date night with my husband. After having Sammy, I still have 15lbs to lose, so I was looking for something that was not tight on my legs or stomach, made me look taller but also had sex appeal. This jumpsuit was it. I kept the styling very simple and let the colors and stripes speak for me. FYI This jumpsuit is only $24.99 with Amazon Prime.

CLICK PICTURES FOR PRODUCT LINKS



Remember, try and dress for the body you have. If you are short, find dresses and pants that lengthen you. Horizontal stripes are slimming and elongate your frame. If you are tall and thin, you literally are my dream body. You can wear horizontal and vertical stripes. The trick is finding pants that match your height but there is nothing a little tailoring can’t help. Find a tailor that can let the seams out of the pants and sleeves to add more inches. If you are plus, don’t put on tents and large items but find clothes that accentuate your waist, bust or gorgeous legs (pick one body part to accentuate at a time). A peplum shirt is the go-to for curvier girls and a belt can fix almost anything. So, find things that compliment you and your shape and rock it with boldness!

So, what has been your biggest style challenge since having a baby or becoming pregnant? Have you found it hard to get your groove back when it comes to styling your new body? Let us know how you’ve been dealing with your body and styling issues and if you have any questions, please comment below and I will answer them.

Be sure to register for the blog and follow me on Bloglovin for updates and on Instagram and Snapchat (emma ford). All emails and inquiries can be sent to houseofodarablog@gmail.com