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Embracing Jealousy

“I hate you, I hate you, I don’t know you and I hate you!”

Today, I’m going to tell you a story about how embracing jealousy changed my life! LOL…Don’t close the page, give me a chance to explain this to you. I don’t know how many of you ever watched “The Chappelle Show” back in early 2000’s. I was obsessed with it, even though it was a bit grown-up for me at that time. The Chappelle show was truth wrapped in a comedic shell and this formula made it very successful.

embracing jealousy: how to make it work for your goodMy favorite episode was the Player Hater’s Ball. I literally died laughing at that episode but in the middle of all that laughter, I learned a lot about embracing jealousy and turning it into motivation and NOT anger. The episode was all about a group of men that were so filled with hate they got awards for hating on someone’s success, looks and personality. I find in today’s society, people think that being a hater and being jealous and petty is very chic and cool. FYI it’s not! Jealousy can be a bad thing but when you embrace it you can actually turn it into motivation. 

So, no this post is not 101 ways to be a better hater…sorry!

Webster defines jealousy as a feeling of resentment because of someone else’s success, advantages, or because of a personal rivalry. LISTEN LINDA, WE ALL GET JEALOUS! Anyone that says they’ve never been jealous of someone else is lying. It’s okay to feel jealousy, it’s what you decide to do with it that makes the difference.

Here are 5 ways I learned to embrace jealousy and make it work for my good. 

  1. Compliment Your Rival: When it’s 10PM and you’re scrolling on social media and you see your friend is engaged, having a baby or got a promotion, don’t scroll by and roll your eyes, compliment them. Even if you don’t feel it, do it. Blessings come when we learn to rejoice with other people!
  2. Smell Yourself: My mum used to say if you travel and everywhere you go stinks, check your self because it might be you smelling. When jealousy creeps up, it’s because in some way or another we feel inadequate. We may be having a low self-esteem day and going online can sometimes make things worse. When insecurity creeps in, ask yourself “why do I feel this way and what can I do to build myself back up” Listen, when your self-esteem is low, log offline and get with a group of people that can uplift, pray and compliment you. 
  3. Let it Push You: There is nothing like jealousy to motivate you to do better. I remember seeing my friend that had a baby a month after me, and she was back in a size 6. I was sooooo mad at her and at myself and at my body but instead of taking it out on her and letting jealousy eat me up, I decided to embrace jealousy and let it push me to exercise. Embracing jealousy can turn “hateration” into greatness. 
  4. Talk It Out: Sometimes you just gotta talk it out with a friend. When you’re feeling inadequate and jealous of just about everyone and everything they have and you don’t have, get advice from your pastor, get prayer from a friend or grab a glass of wine and chat it out with girlfriends. Nothing soothes like being able to work things out with people you trust
  5. Love is Greater: Love conquers all things. So, if hate is creeping up on you, say no and choose love. Dr. Seidman wrote a great article on jealousy in a relationship setting entitled, ‘What’s really behind Jealousy and what to do about it” and if you and your spouse are dealing with this issue, read the article HERE

embracing jealousy: how to make it work for you

Remember, embracing jealousy is not always a bad thing when you learn to make it work for your good. Next time the green-eyed monster creeps up on you, remember these 5 steps and allow love to win.

Don’t forget about my last Fun-Facts post on “How to cuff the right way during cuffing season.” Click HERE to read all about it.

I would love to style or collaborate with your business. Email me at houseofodarablog@gmail.com for information and any styling questions you may have.

Love you.Mean It

WiseChats

Boo, is that you?!

“A good man/woman is hard to find but time wasters are a dime a dozen” 

Okay, So it’s October and officially Cuffing Season (LOL!). This post is all about how to find the RIGHT ONE to cuff. Marriage is one of the biggest decisions we will ever make in our life. So, don’t take it lightly and don’t waste time on time-wasters, marriage-phobes and the one-hit wonders (once they Hit-it, they are gone). I have compiled stories from couples that have been married for over 10 years to one’s who just got married last year. Lots of good wisdom in one post.

My husband met me at church while I was busy working, enjoying life and worried-less about what guy was looking at me. He said the first thing he noticed about me, besides my legs, was my tenacity. He said I looked like I had everything together (FYI I WAS A MESS). I had just broken off a relationship, I was hurting, lost and felt so rejected…but I didn’t look like it. The moment I knew he was the one was when I saw the way he treated his mom and sisters. I’m a family oriented person and I knew he was too and we connected in that aspect as well as our faith, work-ethic and goals. So that is my story, here are some others:

This is Brian and Brittany Ramsey of Birmingham, AL. They have been married for one year and met while out on the town. Brittany said she knew Brian was “The One” because:

A. He made it known he was SERIOUS about me and about the relationship.

B. He took the lead to introduce me to everyone in his family, his friends and into his world.

C. Brian said he knew Brittany was the one because she carried herself like a QUEEN!

Their advice is not to sell yourself short trying to be everything to someone who isn’t trying to be everything to you. Make sure you know from the beginning whether the person is as serious as you are so you don’t waste your time You don’t have to wait 10yrs to figure out that the girl or guy is not serious (honey, you’ll know right away).

 

This is Sederick and Sametta Fluker of Montgomery, AL. They met while in college at Alabama State University and have been married for 19 “wonderful” year as of TODAY! They have two children, both work and they still make time to enjoy each other and their marriage. Here is their advice for spotting “the one”:

A. She knew he was marriage material because he had a good work ethic and she knew he would be a great provider

B. He also kept his promises even when they were just dating (aaaahhh so important)

Their advice is to understand each other’s values and worth and get to know each other from the inside out instead of outside in. This means, get to know their internal beauty and then factor in their external beauty. Remember, looks can be deceiving because an apple may look good from the outside but be rotten once you bite into it. 

 

This is Christopher and Maraya Searcy from Montgomery, AL and Oklahoma City. They met at an internship in Kansas city and have been married for 4 months. They are loving married life and here are their words of wisdom:

A. She knew Chris was marrying material because of his capacity to love and serve without expecting anything in return. 

B. He was also serious about his walk with Christ and his faith

C. He knew she was it for him because of her love for those around her and her faith

Their advice would be to not only make sure that your potential spouse has all the good qualities you are looking for, but also make sure you have those qualities as well. Make sure you are wife/husband material.

 This is Antonio and Tamera Felder of Prattville, AL. They are both in the military and met while in college. They have been married for almost five years and love that they are each other’s best friends. Here is their advice on finding your mate:

A. She said she knew Antonio was the one because he drove 14 hours just to meet her parents and sit down with her dad face-to-face to express how much he liked her and his intentions for them. 

B. He said he knew he could marry Tamera because she was loving, caring, possessed great character and had a great booty and a beautiful face (ayyyee).

Their advice would be to put God first in your marriage if you want success. Even in the dating process, put God first and He will lead you to the right one. Plus, never rush into anything. Take your time to get to know the person and trust God’s timing. Remember, no one wants a half-baked cake so let God finish working on him/her before you marry them. 

Lastly, I asked my cousin (she’s single) some of the things she looks for when she’s dating someone so she doesn’t waste her time.

Ashlen is mother to Kaylen Loban, law student and the paralegal at a law firm in Montgomery, AL. She is also CEO of HeyGirlHey a weekly email with uplifting, funny and insightful messages. Here is her advice to the single man/woman seeking love:

A. Don’t overlook early red flags…they aren’t there just for decoration. If it’s a red flag now, it’ll be a full blow fire two years down the line.

B. Have a conversation about the trajectory of the relationship. Are y’all on the same page as to where this is leading?

C. Don’t get caught up in the hype of dating and being on the market, spend that time to work on you, better yourself, travel, enjoy life and BOSS UP!

I hope this post helped you in some way or the other. Comment below and let me know which advice helped you and how you plan on dating with purpose in the future. If you’re already married, comment and let us know how you knew your spouse was “the one” for you.

Here is a great book for those who are single and those who are married to help you understand the opposite sex better and IT’S ON SALE NOW: CLICK PICTURE TO PURCHASE

Subscribe to House of Odara and for collaborations and personal styling, email me at houseofodarablog@gmail.com

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Afordablefits

Splashed!


Design creates culture. Culture shapes values. Values determine the future -R. Peters

I am secretly obsessed with creative minds. As a child, I would always make up stories to help me wash dishes or to help me cope with bullying or just to make the time go by. I had this imaginary life inside my mind that kept me sane. So, I grew up loving movies, story-telling, books, fashion and design. Pretty much anything aesthetically pleasing, I was drawn to immediately. How many of you are like that?

My goal, and the goal of House of Odara is to first motivate, next bring affordable fashion, also highlight fashionable people and finally spotlight designers and their visions. Today, this post is about this brand I stumbled on to called Splashed by DKGThe designers are actually my upstairs neighbors and the CEO’s of Magic City Fashion Week. Derek and Daniel design, sew and splash all their pieces themselves. I fell in love with their dream, work ethic and of course the designs themselves.

Today, I’m styling their tiered top (NOW ON SALE). This top fits just about anyone, from petite to plus size so check out their page and shop away. I paired this gorgeous top with a chocker from their collection, a red wrap skirt, tortoise shelled sunnies and strappy blue heels. I absolutely loved this shirt, it was comfortable, flattering and the color is just amazing. Let’s support local businesses that are doing.

CLICK PICTURES TO SHOP

 

I absolutely love the splashed design of the shirt, the off shoulder look, the light weight feel of the cotton and of course the compliments I received while wearing it. The shirt would also go well with white-washed jeans or tights. The beauty of style is that you get to make things your own. So, go shop and style it your own way.

Let me know what you think of this look and how you would have styled it differently. Check out the site Splashed by DKG  for the top and other fabulous items. Don’t forget to comment, subscribe and share this site. For collaborations with your brand, email me at Houseofodarablog@gmail.com

Be sure to register for the blog and follow me on Bloglovin for updates and on Instagram and Snapchat (emma ford).

Love You.Mean It 

Pictures taken at the beautiful Sloss Furnace in Birmingham, AL