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Worthy: How Do You Measure Your Self Worth?

how do you measure your self worth

“How do you measure your self worth?”

Take a minute and answer this question to yourself. Really, stop reading and answer it. If someone put you in a room and told you to write down how you measure YOUR self-worth, what would you put down on that piece of paper? Is it based off your looks, your intellect, your accomplishments, the opinions of others, the amount of twitter and Facebook followers you have? How do you measure your self worth? The minute you find out the answer, hold on to it and it’s discuss it.

There is the parable about a old man who gave his son a precious ring. He told his son to take it to the market and take no less than one gold coin for the ring. The young man went to every market and every vendor and they all laughed him away and told him he was crazy and that the ring was only worth 5 silver coins. He went home disappointed and told his father he had failed. His father then told him to go to a an expert jeweler and find out the value of the ring but NOT to sell it for any reason. 

How do you measure your self worth?

The young man went to the jeweler and gave him the ring. The jeweler looked it over and offered the young man 50 gold coins. The young man was so surprised he could only stare at the jeweler. The jeweler then offered 70 gold coins and promised even more if the young man would agree and sell it right away. The son picked up his ring and went home to the father surprised and confused by jeweler’s offers. He told his father the news and his father laughed and said, “Son you can’t expect the fools at the markets and in the streets to ever know the worth of something as priceless as this jewel. Only an expert will ever know it’s true value.” Now, How do you measure your self worth? Is it the street value or the value of an expert evaluator?

This story is exactly what is happening in the world we live in. We look everywhere else for self-worth except at the two experts: God who created you, and yourself. We look at “role models” like Kim Kardashian or Nikki Minaj and when our body, face, hair or life doesn’t line up, we lose a little bit of self-esteem. When we see others doing better than us in life, on their jobs, in their families, we lose a little bit of self-esteem. Without even knowing, we are unconsciously measuring ourselves against a standard that was never meant for us. So, Let me ask again, how do you measure your self worth?

How do you measure your self worth?

If the measuring rod for YOUR self worth isn’t God and yourself, then throw the whole ruler away. Start all over. You will never measure up to the standards of any one else point-blank-period. You were made uniquely, differently and beautifully. Individual from your eyes all the way to your fingertips; there is no one else like you! Keep that in mind every time comparison tries to creep in. Pick up your Bible and read how you were wonderfully and beautifully made (Ps. 139) and how God knew you and had a plan for you before you were even born (Jeremiah 1:5). Put these scriptures and self-affirming words all over your mirror, house and doors and feed your spirit with them every day. Self worth is an inside job. It begins by building ourself up from the inside out. The minute you realize your self worth and value, you refuse to give others discounts and to discount yourself from all that is good in this world. 

You won’t be perfect if you’re skinnier, smarter, prettier, taller, etc. because you are ALREADY perfect! So, how do you measure your self worth? The way to measure your self-worth is by the Word of God and You. You must change how you see yourself, how you love yourself and how you treat yourself. Be your own best friend, be your own cheerleader and lift yourself up. In life, there are so many people and things that pull us down, don’t be one of those people and things…LOVE YOU AND OTHERS WILL LOVE YOU!

how do you measure your self worth?

I hope this helped someone out there. I write this because during the holidays, suicide and depression rates are at their highest. We have to learn to love ourselves, to lift ourselves up and remind ourselves of the intrinsic value that we have as human beings. We have to allow God to do the rest. When we are hopeless and feel worthless, ask God to reveal your value to you and He will. Share this post with someone who needs it and remember, I love you and hope and pray the best for you.

You can always reach out to me at houseofodara@gmail.com. Read the latest fashion blog post HERE!

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Embracing Jealousy

“I hate you, I hate you, I don’t know you and I hate you!”

Today, I’m going to tell you a story about how embracing jealousy changed my life! LOL…Don’t close the page, give me a chance to explain this to you. I don’t know how many of you ever watched “The Chappelle Show” back in early 2000’s. I was obsessed with it, even though it was a bit grown-up for me at that time. The Chappelle show was truth wrapped in a comedic shell and this formula made it very successful.

embracing jealousy: how to make it work for your goodMy favorite episode was the Player Hater’s Ball. I literally died laughing at that episode but in the middle of all that laughter, I learned a lot about embracing jealousy and turning it into motivation and NOT anger. The episode was all about a group of men that were so filled with hate they got awards for hating on someone’s success, looks and personality. I find in today’s society, people think that being a hater and being jealous and petty is very chic and cool. FYI it’s not! Jealousy can be a bad thing but when you embrace it you can actually turn it into motivation. 

So, no this post is not 101 ways to be a better hater…sorry!

Webster defines jealousy as a feeling of resentment because of someone else’s success, advantages, or because of a personal rivalry. LISTEN LINDA, WE ALL GET JEALOUS! Anyone that says they’ve never been jealous of someone else is lying. It’s okay to feel jealousy, it’s what you decide to do with it that makes the difference.

Here are 5 ways I learned to embrace jealousy and make it work for my good. 

  1. Compliment Your Rival: When it’s 10PM and you’re scrolling on social media and you see your friend is engaged, having a baby or got a promotion, don’t scroll by and roll your eyes, compliment them. Even if you don’t feel it, do it. Blessings come when we learn to rejoice with other people!
  2. Smell Yourself: My mum used to say if you travel and everywhere you go stinks, check your self because it might be you smelling. When jealousy creeps up, it’s because in some way or another we feel inadequate. We may be having a low self-esteem day and going online can sometimes make things worse. When insecurity creeps in, ask yourself “why do I feel this way and what can I do to build myself back up” Listen, when your self-esteem is low, log offline and get with a group of people that can uplift, pray and compliment you. 
  3. Let it Push You: There is nothing like jealousy to motivate you to do better. I remember seeing my friend that had a baby a month after me, and she was back in a size 6. I was sooooo mad at her and at myself and at my body but instead of taking it out on her and letting jealousy eat me up, I decided to embrace jealousy and let it push me to exercise. Embracing jealousy can turn “hateration” into greatness. 
  4. Talk It Out: Sometimes you just gotta talk it out with a friend. When you’re feeling inadequate and jealous of just about everyone and everything they have and you don’t have, get advice from your pastor, get prayer from a friend or grab a glass of wine and chat it out with girlfriends. Nothing soothes like being able to work things out with people you trust
  5. Love is Greater: Love conquers all things. So, if hate is creeping up on you, say no and choose love. Dr. Seidman wrote a great article on jealousy in a relationship setting entitled, ‘What’s really behind Jealousy and what to do about it” and if you and your spouse are dealing with this issue, read the article HERE

embracing jealousy: how to make it work for you

Remember, embracing jealousy is not always a bad thing when you learn to make it work for your good. Next time the green-eyed monster creeps up on you, remember these 5 steps and allow love to win.

Don’t forget about my last Fun-Facts post on “How to cuff the right way during cuffing season.” Click HERE to read all about it.

I would love to style or collaborate with your business. Email me at houseofodarablog@gmail.com for information and any styling questions you may have.

Love you.Mean It