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Worthy: How Do You Measure Your Self Worth?

how do you measure your self worth

“How do you measure your self worth?”

Take a minute and answer this question to yourself. Really, stop reading and answer it. If someone put you in a room and told you to write down how you measure YOUR self-worth, what would you put down on that piece of paper? Is it based off your looks, your intellect, your accomplishments, the opinions of others, the amount of twitter and Facebook followers you have? How do you measure your self worth? The minute you find out the answer, hold on to it and it’s discuss it.

There is the parable about a old man who gave his son a precious ring. He told his son to take it to the market and take no less than one gold coin for the ring. The young man went to every market and every vendor and they all laughed him away and told him he was crazy and that the ring was only worth 5 silver coins. He went home disappointed and told his father he had failed. His father then told him to go to a an expert jeweler and find out the value of the ring but NOT to sell it for any reason. 

How do you measure your self worth?

The young man went to the jeweler and gave him the ring. The jeweler looked it over and offered the young man 50 gold coins. The young man was so surprised he could only stare at the jeweler. The jeweler then offered 70 gold coins and promised even more if the young man would agree and sell it right away. The son picked up his ring and went home to the father surprised and confused by jeweler’s offers. He told his father the news and his father laughed and said, “Son you can’t expect the fools at the markets and in the streets to ever know the worth of something as priceless as this jewel. Only an expert will ever know it’s true value.” Now, How do you measure your self worth? Is it the street value or the value of an expert evaluator?

This story is exactly what is happening in the world we live in. We look everywhere else for self-worth except at the two experts: God who created you, and yourself. We look at “role models” like Kim Kardashian or Nikki Minaj and when our body, face, hair or life doesn’t line up, we lose a little bit of self-esteem. When we see others doing better than us in life, on their jobs, in their families, we lose a little bit of self-esteem. Without even knowing, we are unconsciously measuring ourselves against a standard that was never meant for us. So, Let me ask again, how do you measure your self worth?

How do you measure your self worth?

If the measuring rod for YOUR self worth isn’t God and yourself, then throw the whole ruler away. Start all over. You will never measure up to the standards of any one else point-blank-period. You were made uniquely, differently and beautifully. Individual from your eyes all the way to your fingertips; there is no one else like you! Keep that in mind every time comparison tries to creep in. Pick up your Bible and read how you were wonderfully and beautifully made (Ps. 139) and how God knew you and had a plan for you before you were even born (Jeremiah 1:5). Put these scriptures and self-affirming words all over your mirror, house and doors and feed your spirit with them every day. Self worth is an inside job. It begins by building ourself up from the inside out. The minute you realize your self worth and value, you refuse to give others discounts and to discount yourself from all that is good in this world. 

You won’t be perfect if you’re skinnier, smarter, prettier, taller, etc. because you are ALREADY perfect! So, how do you measure your self worth? The way to measure your self-worth is by the Word of God and You. You must change how you see yourself, how you love yourself and how you treat yourself. Be your own best friend, be your own cheerleader and lift yourself up. In life, there are so many people and things that pull us down, don’t be one of those people and things…LOVE YOU AND OTHERS WILL LOVE YOU!

how do you measure your self worth?

I hope this helped someone out there. I write this because during the holidays, suicide and depression rates are at their highest. We have to learn to love ourselves, to lift ourselves up and remind ourselves of the intrinsic value that we have as human beings. We have to allow God to do the rest. When we are hopeless and feel worthless, ask God to reveal your value to you and He will. Share this post with someone who needs it and remember, I love you and hope and pray the best for you.

You can always reach out to me at houseofodara@gmail.com. Read the latest fashion blog post HERE!

I Love You.Mean It

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Boo, is that you?!

“A good man/woman is hard to find but time wasters are a dime a dozen” 

Okay, So it’s October and officially Cuffing Season (LOL!). This post is all about how to find the RIGHT ONE to cuff. Marriage is one of the biggest decisions we will ever make in our life. So, don’t take it lightly and don’t waste time on time-wasters, marriage-phobes and the one-hit wonders (once they Hit-it, they are gone). I have compiled stories from couples that have been married for over 10 years to one’s who just got married last year. Lots of good wisdom in one post.

My husband met me at church while I was busy working, enjoying life and worried-less about what guy was looking at me. He said the first thing he noticed about me, besides my legs, was my tenacity. He said I looked like I had everything together (FYI I WAS A MESS). I had just broken off a relationship, I was hurting, lost and felt so rejected…but I didn’t look like it. The moment I knew he was the one was when I saw the way he treated his mom and sisters. I’m a family oriented person and I knew he was too and we connected in that aspect as well as our faith, work-ethic and goals. So that is my story, here are some others:

This is Brian and Brittany Ramsey of Birmingham, AL. They have been married for one year and met while out on the town. Brittany said she knew Brian was “The One” because:

A. He made it known he was SERIOUS about me and about the relationship.

B. He took the lead to introduce me to everyone in his family, his friends and into his world.

C. Brian said he knew Brittany was the one because she carried herself like a QUEEN!

Their advice is not to sell yourself short trying to be everything to someone who isn’t trying to be everything to you. Make sure you know from the beginning whether the person is as serious as you are so you don’t waste your time You don’t have to wait 10yrs to figure out that the girl or guy is not serious (honey, you’ll know right away).

 

This is Sederick and Sametta Fluker of Montgomery, AL. They met while in college at Alabama State University and have been married for 19 “wonderful” year as of TODAY! They have two children, both work and they still make time to enjoy each other and their marriage. Here is their advice for spotting “the one”:

A. She knew he was marriage material because he had a good work ethic and she knew he would be a great provider

B. He also kept his promises even when they were just dating (aaaahhh so important)

Their advice is to understand each other’s values and worth and get to know each other from the inside out instead of outside in. This means, get to know their internal beauty and then factor in their external beauty. Remember, looks can be deceiving because an apple may look good from the outside but be rotten once you bite into it. 

 

This is Christopher and Maraya Searcy from Montgomery, AL and Oklahoma City. They met at an internship in Kansas city and have been married for 4 months. They are loving married life and here are their words of wisdom:

A. She knew Chris was marrying material because of his capacity to love and serve without expecting anything in return. 

B. He was also serious about his walk with Christ and his faith

C. He knew she was it for him because of her love for those around her and her faith

Their advice would be to not only make sure that your potential spouse has all the good qualities you are looking for, but also make sure you have those qualities as well. Make sure you are wife/husband material.

 This is Antonio and Tamera Felder of Prattville, AL. They are both in the military and met while in college. They have been married for almost five years and love that they are each other’s best friends. Here is their advice on finding your mate:

A. She said she knew Antonio was the one because he drove 14 hours just to meet her parents and sit down with her dad face-to-face to express how much he liked her and his intentions for them. 

B. He said he knew he could marry Tamera because she was loving, caring, possessed great character and had a great booty and a beautiful face (ayyyee).

Their advice would be to put God first in your marriage if you want success. Even in the dating process, put God first and He will lead you to the right one. Plus, never rush into anything. Take your time to get to know the person and trust God’s timing. Remember, no one wants a half-baked cake so let God finish working on him/her before you marry them. 

Lastly, I asked my cousin (she’s single) some of the things she looks for when she’s dating someone so she doesn’t waste her time.

Ashlen is mother to Kaylen Loban, law student and the paralegal at a law firm in Montgomery, AL. She is also CEO of HeyGirlHey a weekly email with uplifting, funny and insightful messages. Here is her advice to the single man/woman seeking love:

A. Don’t overlook early red flags…they aren’t there just for decoration. If it’s a red flag now, it’ll be a full blow fire two years down the line.

B. Have a conversation about the trajectory of the relationship. Are y’all on the same page as to where this is leading?

C. Don’t get caught up in the hype of dating and being on the market, spend that time to work on you, better yourself, travel, enjoy life and BOSS UP!

I hope this post helped you in some way or the other. Comment below and let me know which advice helped you and how you plan on dating with purpose in the future. If you’re already married, comment and let us know how you knew your spouse was “the one” for you.

Here is a great book for those who are single and those who are married to help you understand the opposite sex better and IT’S ON SALE NOW: CLICK PICTURE TO PURCHASE

Subscribe to House of Odara and for collaborations and personal styling, email me at houseofodarablog@gmail.com

Love you.Mean it

 

 

 

 

 

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Hey Girl Hey: Back to School

Hey Girl Hey! It’s that time of year again…BACK TO SCHOOL! As a mother I am so excited that summer is almost officially over! This means I no longer have to think of one hundred ways of how to entertain my kid. I have a six year old daughter and let’s be real, the girl has high standards!

The transition from summer break ending to going back to school is sometimes challenging. So let’s start getting them in the routine of going to bed early and waking up early. By doing this they will be prepared and ready for the first day of school. I’m still a kid at heart so I’m excited as if, it’s my first day. I can’t wait to lay out her uniform, label her supplies, pack her book bag, and send her off. Teachers be ready….these are now your kids, we truly appreciate you all!

Now, that we have gotten the kids out of the way. It’s time to talk to the mothers, as moms we have countless duties. So much so, that we get caught in the commotion of prepping the kids that we barely set aside any time for ourselves. I know, you’re like “how do you expect me to set time out for myself in the morning girl?”

Girl! I’m glad you asked. Here are some thoughtful easy ways to make sure that not only your kid(s) look and feel awesome but so do you. Let’s face it, kids love when their moms look good, it makes them proud. Whether they say it or not. Trust me. My daughter evaluates my work attire every morning, she usually says that I either look like her grandma, a principal or like I’m going to church. And guess what? All of those are fine by me.

“If you fail to plan, you are planning to fail.”

  1. Attempt to get a good night’s rest. Emphasis on attempt, 6-8 hours will do your body good and you will wake up refresh and energized.
  2. Wake up early and have some personal time. This puts an end to rushing. It also allows more time for you pray, do your hair, makeup and take a selfie!
  3. Set out your clothes the night before. Doing this cuts out wasting time in the closet trying to put together an outfit in the morning.
  4. Create an after school schedule for your children. Studies show that kids actually like routines. Make it fun for them.
  5. Remember you are human! You’re not perfect and you make mistakes. Take care of yourself because all children deserve happy parents.

Comment below and let us know some of the things you do to get yourself and your family ready for the back to school season. As always, thank you for reading and sharing this blog.

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IG: heygirlheyus    Snapchat: ashcaking

AR

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#WCW

Hey Girl Hey!!

Okay, if you know me, you know I’m all about the holidays, especially Christmas!! It is imperative for me to make sure that everyone that is dear to me is in the holiday spirit!  I just Loveee it!! Holidays give you a reason to shop more & care less (until your bank statement arrives)!!

Nevertheless, I’m all about treating yourself-you’ve worked all year, buy the SHOES (do it for the culture)!! I’m sure I’ve used the excuse of “it’s Christmas” one too many times in regards to one too many purchases!! People ask, “What is it about the holidays that you love so much?” My answer is simple:

When I think of the holidays I think of relaxation, time off work, *random ugly sweater parties (any excuse to partay!) & quality time with friends and family. Too often we get caught up in the combustion of the materialistic items and find ourselves stressed out!! While in reality it’s not even about that. Don’t get me wrong. I will shop til’ I drop (I’m not a shopaholic, I’m actually helping the economy). However, I’m more so here for creating moments that turn into forever memories.

I’m a mommy to a FABULOUS five year old (Kaylen) that has a personality bigger than herself!! I honestly never saw myself being a mother. & I honestly never thought that I would be saying this… but she is the BEST thing I’ve ever done!! Hands down!

A day in my life consist of being a full-time mother, (shout out to mothers, especially SINGLE mothers) working as a full-time Paralegal & prepping to finesse my way into law school. My mind is constantly on GO, always thinking, always prepping, always scheduling, literally ALWAYS doing something!

For this very reason when holiday season comes I am HAPPY. I am JOYFUL. I am THANKFUL. I am APPRECIATIVE. During the months of January-October we are busy getting our lives together for the better! I look at November (Thanksgiving) & December (Christmas) as a time to relax & catch up on things and people that I may have put off during my “Grind Months”.

 

“GIVE THEM THEIR FLOWERS WHILE THEY’RE STILL ALIVe”

Holiday season is the perfect time to do so! Take time out to appreciate the ones you love, you don’t have to literally give flowers (unless that’s your thing) but words and affection can go a long way.

This holiday season my hope is that we don’t forget the true reason for the season (Isaiah 9:6). That we find bliss within the smallest things. & that we take time out to love our loved ones while they are here.

Happy Holidays! May they be as EXTRAORDINARY as YOU!

 

 

 

 

Xoxo-Ashlen & Kaylen

(IG: arenecuy)

cc: Hey Girl Hey (IG: heygirlsheyus FB: Hey Girls Hey!

 

 

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You’re Going Somewhere!

So, it’s 2016.

We have exactly 360 days left in this year. What goals have you set for yourself?

A map can show you where to go, but unless you get in the car and drive, your destination will always just be a dream. 

r-CROSSROADS-large570Think about it, when you make a decision to take a road trip with the girls you always have a plan of action and you are prepared to execute it. The weeks leading up to the trip you spend time calculating how much everything is going to cost, you develop an itinerary, and you decide what you will be wearing…duhhh. All this preparation allows you to enjoy the trip. And even if you run into bumps in the road during the trip, you’re able to roll with the punches and know what to do and not to do for next time.

The same mindset we take with trips is the same mindset that you must take with the goals you set and achieve for 2016. Lets face it, we are on a journey called life and we only get one chance at it. So remember that no matter how many obstacles you have faced and how many times you have been knocked down, its time to get back up. 

So lets cut to the chase! How do you set goals and achieve goals? Here are some tips I’ve picked up along the way that have helped me stay on track.

hands-holding-letters-tips-500px

1.) Decide what it is you want in life. Remember no one knows you better than you do. Don’t make the decision based on what sounds good, but instead what you are passionate about. Start dreaming again!

2.) Focus. No one can do too many things at once, it’s the same with setting goals. You have to prioritize. Start by thinking about the important areas of your life you want to achieve something in. For example I always break mine down into categories physical, financial, spiritual, and so forth. From there I brainstorm specific goals in each area I would like to achieve. You don’t want to get overwhelmed, so I suggest selecting only 3 goals for each category you choose. Remember You can always add on to your list. All your goals need to be SMART!
S – Specific (or Significant).
M – Measurable (or Meaningful).
A – Attainable (or Action-Oriented).
R – Relevant (or Rewarding).
T – Time-bound (or Trackable).

3.) WRITE IT DOWN. I can’t say it enough. Get your pen and paper and get to writing. This is important because you will definitely need to go back and look at it.

4.) “If you fail to plan you plan to fail.” Develop a plan of action. A genie in a bottle isn’t going to be granting any of your wishes anytime soon, so girl you got to work. You have to know where in the world you are going. Nothing happens overnight. You want to lose 50 pounds you need a plan. Are you going to get a gym membership? Or will you have a personal trainer? How many times will you workout each week? Are you cutting out sweets? Having a plan allows you to not wander aimlessly.

5.) Don’t let your goals collect dust. Find time to review them periodically. I remember every year I would set goals and make a plan, but when I would review it every month it made it real again. My eyes stayed on the prize. So every too weeks or even monthly pull it out and see where you are at in your progress.

6.) Accountability. Share your goals with a person you trust. I believe this will help in those times you get distracted or discouraged. Having someone there that has your best interest at heart and desires you to succeed is vital. They will serve to both encourage and challenge you to stay the course and finish the race.

These are only a few tips on how to set and achieve your goals. Throughout the process stay positive and remember failure is only final when you allow it to be. Become committed to making you the best you. If you take these steps, you cannot help but succeed. No matter what your dream is, you can achieve it.

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rose

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Post by: Rosanna M. Smith

Facebook: Rosanna Marie Smith

Instagram: gracefullyrose

 

Be sure to subscribe for email updates and follow House of Odara on Bloglovin for updates. Find me on Instagram, Snapchat (tinkrb11e) and subscribe to my youtube channel. All emails and inquiries can be sent to funmis1@gmail.com.

XoXo Emma

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Single Bells…Single Bells

couple-staying-in-1-bedroom-luxury-cabins-in-Gatlinburg-TN-300x200In a cozy Tennessee cabin, a beautiful woman and a handsome man cuddle in front of the fireplace as soft jazz plays in the background. They are playing footsie, while sipping on hot chocolate, laughing and joking about Christmases long, long ago. They lovingly stare into each others soulful eyes and anticipate a lifetime filled with passion and promise…

This is someone’s story…

 

Just not mine!  At least, not this year!  And no you don’t have to hide all the knives and cover all the bridges. I will not be jumping unless there is a secured (very secure) bungee cord attached to me!!! Lol

There is a song that says, “What Do the Lonely Do at Christmas?”

HOLD UP…WAIT A MINUTE!! Who says you have to be lonely just because you’re single? It is very possible to be alone and not be lonely. You have family, friends, coworkers, and even frenemies that are willing to be there and be a support system for you during the holidays, if you let them. Plus, there are so many activities happening around this time of year where you can mix and mingle. So, link arms with another single friend, a cousin, or a loved one and get to mingling! Don’t dwell on being single!!

IA

 

And anyway, I’m sure there isn’t a, “Build-A-Man” section in Santa’s Workshop. So no, no matter how much you pray and dream about it, Idris Elba will not be under your Christmas tree this year! lol

 

The truth of the matter is Jesus is the real reason for this season. What a beautiful and wonderful gift God sent us… His Beloved Son.

However, God didn’t stop sending gifts to this earth. He sent you and me.

Yaaaaaaasssss, Honey!! You are a gift!! a-christmas-giftYou may not have been given to anyone yet, but that doesn’t devalue your worth…you are priceless. You are not the kind of gift where you hope they put the gift receipt with it so you can return it later, or even the gift that ends up being re-gifted!! Your love, your time, your presence, your knowledge, your strength, your everything is a gift, and the kind that keeps on giving. You are the kind of gift that someone doesn’t even know they need until they get it. That being said, you don’t just give that kind of gift to anyone. You want to give it to someone who knows how to embrace and love all the beauty that is you!

So maybe this Christmas, you are still single. So maybe this Christmas, your Adam is STILL sleeping or your Eve hasn’t been finished yet!! That is perfectly fine!! Remember, no good thing will God withhold from them that trust and love Him.

So go ahead and enjoy this holiday season with your family and friends. And as for the question, “What do the lonely do at Christmas?” I have absolutely no idea but I’ll be having the time of my life with the ones I love and the ones who love me best!! You do the same!

Merry Christmas,

ZaMaya

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Writer: Zamaya Johnson Email: zjohnson27@ymail.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Comment below and let me know how you like this great article by the talented and beautiful Zamaya Johnson. Share it with a friend who needs to read it and leave comments below on how you deal with being single and happy during the holidays. Love you all and thank you always for your love and support.

Be sure to follow me on Bloglovin for updates and follow me on Instagram, Snapchat (tinkrb11e) and subscribe to my youtube channel. All emails and inquiries can be sent to funmis1@gmail.com.

XoXo Emma

 

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Toxic

Don’t You Know That It’s Toxic

So, how many of you remember that song Toxic by Britney Spears (yes, i’m old…lol). In it she sings about a boy that she knows is bad for her, but she is so addicted to him that she can’t let him go. I used to be obsessed with this song when I was younger. I sang it all the time because the beat was so catchy and the song was just fun. But, it’s actually a very sad song. Britney sings that the guy she’s in love with is dangerous but she loves it! Wait, what?! But, if you think about it, haven’t we all had a toxic relationship at least once in our life? #raiseshand

I used to be in a relationship like this. I dated a guy who was very mentally and verbally abusive. I was never good enough for him. I thought if I was slimmer, if I just wore more makeup, if I didn’t talk back and agreed to everything he said, he would be nicer to me. I dumbed down my voice and personality to try and be the person he wanted. But, what I didn’t realize was that he didn’t have the capacity to love me the way I needed to be loved. He had his own issues and problems. He was miserable, so all he had to give was misery. Now, if I decided to stay in that relationship, hoping and praying he would change, I would have no one to blame for my decision. So, I did the smart thing, I RAN! I left that relationship and never looked back. Believe me, it wasn’t easy to let go of someone I thought I loved so much, but I saw my future and I wanted better for it. I prayed and asked God for strength not to go back and not to give in. I occupied myself with other things, and a couple of months later I realized I hadn’t thought about him or about that situation in weeks.

Your situation might be different from mine. You might have been or are currently in a toxic friendship. You know, that friend that always puts you down, is secretly jealous of you and never has anything good to say about you. Or you might currently be in a toxic relationship where you are being abused physically or emotionally. Or your issue might be a boyfriend or girlfriend that only uses you for your money, your body or your attention. We’ve all invited these toxic people into our lives and allowed them to overstay their welcome. Sometimes we are so afraid of being alone, of letting go, of the unknown that we just live in the mess hoping for change. And sometimes we just stay hoping for the best. What we have to realize is that we have to be the change we want to see. If someone or something in your life is unhealthy, “do da Heisman on em” and keep it moving. Remember that you are worth more!

As we enter 2016, let’s make a decision together to let go of any relationships that are toxic. Whether platonic or romantic, if it doesn’t benefit us, our dreams and our goals, we will let it go. Let’s also decide to grab ahold of the things that matter to us, and be passionate about the good and healthy things in our lives. How many of you all will do this with me?

I want to know what toxic relationships and situations you have already let go of and which ones you plan on letting go of in 2016.  Share this post with someone that needs it and comment below and let us  your thoughts. Plus, I know I have some wise followers, so comment and let us know ways you cut toxic things out of our life. I can’t wait to read your responses.

 

*If you are in a physically toxic relationship, please find a pastor or counsellor to talk to. This is a serious situation and you have to speak to someone about it to get help and assistance in getting out. You are worth more than someone who cannot respect you enough to protect you from themselves* (334.613.3363)

Be sure to follow me on Bloglovin for updates and follow me on Instagram, Snapchat (tinkrb11e) and subscribe to my youtube channel. All emails and inquiries can be sent to funmis1@gmail.com.

XoXo Emma

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