Don’t You Know That It’s Toxic

So, how many of you remember that song Toxic by Britney Spears (yes, i’m old…lol). In it she sings about a boy that she knows is bad for her, but she is so addicted to him that she can’t let him go. I used to be obsessed with this song when I was younger. I sang it all the time because the beat was so catchy and the song was just fun. But, it’s actually a very sad song. Britney sings that the guy she’s in love with is dangerous but she loves it! Wait, what?! But, if you think about it, haven’t we all had a toxic relationship at least once in our life? #raiseshand

I used to be in a relationship like this. I dated a guy who was very mentally and verbally abusive. I was never good enough for him. I thought if I was slimmer, if I just wore more makeup, if I didn’t talk back and agreed to everything he said, he would be nicer to me. I dumbed down my voice and personality to try and be the person he wanted. But, what I didn’t realize was that he didn’t have the capacity to love me the way I needed to be loved. He had his own issues and problems. He was miserable, so all he had to give was misery. Now, if I decided to stay in that relationship, hoping and praying he would change, I would have no one to blame for my decision. So, I did the smart thing, I RAN! I left that relationship and never looked back. Believe me, it wasn’t easy to let go of someone I thought I loved so much, but I saw my future and I wanted better for it. I prayed and asked God for strength not to go back and not to give in. I occupied myself with other things, and a couple of months later I realized I hadn’t thought about him or about that situation in weeks.

Your situation might be different from mine. You might have been or are currently in a toxic friendship. You know, that friend that always puts you down, is secretly jealous of you and never has anything good to say about you. Or you might currently be in a toxic relationship where you are being abused physically or emotionally. Or your issue might be a boyfriend or girlfriend that only uses you for your money, your body or your attention. We’ve all invited these toxic people into our lives and allowed them to overstay their welcome. Sometimes we are so afraid of being alone, of letting go, of the unknown that we just live in the mess hoping for change. And sometimes we just stay hoping for the best. What we have to realize is that we have to be the change we want to see. If someone or something in your life is unhealthy, “do da Heisman on em” and keep it moving. Remember that you are worth more!

As we enter 2016, let’s make a decision together to let go of any relationships that are toxic. Whether platonic or romantic, if it doesn’t benefit us, our dreams and our goals, we will let it go. Let’s also decide to grab ahold of the things that matter to us, and be passionate about the good and healthy things in our lives. How many of you all will do this with me?

I want to know what toxic relationships and situations you have already let go of and which ones you plan on letting go of in 2016.  Share this post with someone that needs it and comment below and let us  your thoughts. Plus, I know I have some wise followers, so comment and let us know ways you cut toxic things out of our life. I can’t wait to read your responses.


*If you are in a physically toxic relationship, please find a pastor or counsellor to talk to. This is a serious situation and you have to speak to someone about it to get help and assistance in getting out. You are worth more than someone who cannot respect you enough to protect you from themselves* (334.613.3363)

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XoXo Emma


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  • Ashlen????
    December 4, 2015 at 4:06 pm

    You don’t even understand the confirmation this was for ME! Great read !

    • Emma
      December 4, 2015 at 5:25 pm

      I’m glad. Love you Ashes

  • Carla
    December 4, 2015 at 1:37 pm

    I really enjoyed today’s blog! Everyone should read this & always evaluate friendships! Iron sharpens iron, not full it. One way that I cut off toxic relationships is by blocking phone numbers & having accountability. Love ya girl!

    • Carla
      December 4, 2015 at 1:37 pm

      I meant dull* not full lol

    • Emma
      December 4, 2015 at 2:21 pm

      I am the QUEEN of blocking. Thanks for the insight. Blocking is a tool everyone should use readily because it doesn’t allow you to see if they’ve contacted you. Thanks Carla. Love ya girly.

  • Danielle
    December 4, 2015 at 11:56 am

    I needed this, you have blessed me dearly this morning. I love your blog and what you are doing. May God continue to bless you on your journey and your marriage.

    • Emma
      December 4, 2015 at 12:49 pm

      Thank you so much Ms. Danielle. I’m glad this helped in any way.

  • Crazy Ken!
    December 4, 2015 at 11:28 am

    Oops! I hit comment before I was finished. ..
    But all I was trying to say is be the best you that you can be and if he doesn’t like it…tell him to kick rocks.

    • Emma
      December 4, 2015 at 11:37 am

      Girl you should have written this blog. So much wisdom. It’s so easy to fall in love but we also have to have our eyes wide open the whole time.

  • Crazy Ken!
    December 4, 2015 at 11:26 am

    Great Blog!
    Relationship are easy to enter. The excitement of experiencing a new person, new life, and new realities of who you are is great, but if you find yourself constantly changing to meet the needs of the other person then you need to ask you self “what will happen when the true me comes out? Or how long can I keep up this keep up with this facade

  • Marian
    December 4, 2015 at 11:12 am

    Good stuff Mrs. O!

    • Emma
      December 4, 2015 at 11:17 am

      Thank you Love!

  • Kemi
    December 4, 2015 at 10:59 am

    Amen. Powerful Oluwafunmi.

    • Emma
      December 4, 2015 at 11:37 am

      Thank you!