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December 4, 2015

WiseChats

Toxic

Don’t You Know That It’s Toxic

So, how many of you remember that song Toxic by Britney Spears (yes, i’m old…lol). In it she sings about a boy that she knows is bad for her, but she is so addicted to him that she can’t let him go. I used to be obsessed with this song when I was younger. I sang it all the time because the beat was so catchy and the song was just fun. But, it’s actually a very sad song. Britney sings that the guy she’s in love with is dangerous but she loves it! Wait, what?! But, if you think about it, haven’t we all had a toxic relationship at least once in our life? #raiseshand

I used to be in a relationship like this. I dated a guy who was very mentally and verbally abusive. I was never good enough for him. I thought if I was slimmer, if I just wore more makeup, if I didn’t talk back and agreed to everything he said, he would be nicer to me. I dumbed down my voice and personality to try and be the person he wanted. But, what I didn’t realize was that he didn’t have the capacity to love me the way I needed to be loved. He had his own issues and problems. He was miserable, so all he had to give was misery. Now, if I decided to stay in that relationship, hoping and praying he would change, I would have no one to blame for my decision. So, I did the smart thing, I RAN! I left that relationship and never looked back. Believe me, it wasn’t easy to let go of someone I thought I loved so much, but I saw my future and I wanted better for it. I prayed and asked God for strength not to go back and not to give in. I occupied myself with other things, and a couple of months later I realized I hadn’t thought about him or about that situation in weeks.

Your situation might be different from mine. You might have been or are currently in a toxic friendship. You know, that friend that always puts you down, is secretly jealous of you and never has anything good to say about you. Or you might currently be in a toxic relationship where you are being abused physically or emotionally. Or your issue might be a boyfriend or girlfriend that only uses you for your money, your body or your attention. We’ve all invited these toxic people into our lives and allowed them to overstay their welcome. Sometimes we are so afraid of being alone, of letting go, of the unknown that we just live in the mess hoping for change. And sometimes we just stay hoping for the best. What we have to realize is that we have to be the change we want to see. If someone or something in your life is unhealthy, “do da Heisman on em” and keep it moving. Remember that you are worth more!

As we enter 2016, let’s make a decision together to let go of any relationships that are toxic. Whether platonic or romantic, if it doesn’t benefit us, our dreams and our goals, we will let it go. Let’s also decide to grab ahold of the things that matter to us, and be passionate about the good and healthy things in our lives. How many of you all will do this with me?

I want to know what toxic relationships and situations you have already let go of and which ones you plan on letting go of in 2016.  Share this post with someone that needs it and comment below and let us  your thoughts. Plus, I know I have some wise followers, so comment and let us know ways you cut toxic things out of our life. I can’t wait to read your responses.

 

*If you are in a physically toxic relationship, please find a pastor or counsellor to talk to. This is a serious situation and you have to speak to someone about it to get help and assistance in getting out. You are worth more than someone who cannot respect you enough to protect you from themselves* (334.613.3363)

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XoXo Emma

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